I feel Like a Woman?

The night that I let our first newborn sleep in our bed, was the best night’s sleep I had in three months.  My husband didn’t mind placing the baby between us.  My hair smelled like spoiled milk; and I was still wearing the sweat pants I squeezed into the morning before.   I couldn’t find a pair of jeans that fit over my, "When is the baby due?” belly.  Every time Eric approached me, I hollered “I have no time for you!  This child won’t stop screaming!”

“I wonder where she gets it from?” he'd whisper.

Emily understood, from infancy, that her mom was the poster child for anxiety. She challenged me, by needing little sleep.  She was a mover and shaker . . . right off the changing table . . . twice.  She was hungry . . . always.   I listened to experts who told me to feed her every three hours.  She disagreed with their schedule.

The relentless crying, the sleepless nights, and the marathon days without naps were unbearable; and Emily wasn’t doing well either.  I refused to break my feeding schedule, proudly posted on our refrigerator.  My husband would hand me Emily and beg, “Feed her!  Skip the schedule!"  I wouldn’t listen.  

One late night, as I was walking the floors with Emily, I turned on Shania Twain.  I needed to muffle out the hysterical crying from both of us, and thought some music might brighten our spirits.  “I Feel like a Woman”  filled our little house and Emily stopped crying.  In fact, she was content through the entire song. We danced our way over to Mommy and Daddy’s bed, and I gently laid her down.  Forgetting the experts rules, I nursed Emily only after an hour after the last feeding.  By the end of the repeated song she was peacefully asleep.  

After countless lullabies, hours in the rocking chair, and days of walking the floors, Emily’s perfect pacifier was nursing on demand, her parent’s bed and Shania Twain.

Fourteen years later Emily still turns Shania’s song up when she hears it.  I listen to the Virgin Mary.  Our Queen of Heaven taught me to go to Her whenever I need a nurturing example.  Emily taught me that if you invite children for evening cuddles, and listen to your heart, your children will become loving children; in the eyes of their parents, and in the eyes of the Lord.